


An Open Secret

by TransScribe



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: (they're not), Amanda is the best mother imho, M/M, POV Outsider, Spock is very in love, because I love him, but mostly it's the boys thinking they're good at being discreet, references to Journey to Babel, so is Jim, there are some subtle hints towards autistic Spock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 07:06:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15019304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransScribe/pseuds/TransScribe
Summary: Amanda Grayson knew her son. She could read him, easily. That might've been why she had suspicions about his relationship long before he said anything.It was more likely because subtlety was not a trait Spock had inherited.





	An Open Secret

**Author's Note:**

> This fic idea's been floating around for a looooong time. Amanda's perspective on the boys as they fail epically at hiding their relationship. 
> 
> I love Amanda Grayson and I need more fics featuring her, so I've done it myself.

Amanda had had her suspicions before she’d even met the captain face-to-face.   
  
She kept in contact with her son as best she could, considering the constant shifting of his timezone and the demands of his position, and she’d begun to pick up a pattern in the conversations they held.    
  
She wished, during these calls, that she had the memory her husband and son possessed, simply so she could provide an accurate average of how many time James Kirk was mentioned. As it was, she’d place her estimate in the high ‘teens, per approximately-fifteen-minute call.    
  
It had started simply enough, at the beginning of the mission; recounts of recent events, in which he would proclaim that his captain was a “singularity illogical, yet fascinating individual”. It didn’t strike her as anything meaningful for a short while; he was an inquisitive boy (a man now, and didn’t that make her feel old?) and “fascinating” was an expression he had never shied away from. Something about the pursuit of knowledge and intrigue in new findings being logical. Point being, it was not uncommon for Spock to use the term liberally, and he had spoken highly of his previous captain, Pike, when under his command.    
  
She was pleased to discover he was making connections, in any case, but it was about the time their calls were being rescheduled around his and the captain’s chess matches that she began to consider the possibility of something _else_  going on in their relationship.    
  
She didn’t put too much thought into it, it was simply a hunch, and Spock could very well just be enthusiastic about having a friend (though god forbid Amanda accuse him of such). She knew of her son’s difficulties connecting with others, of course she did. Especially with the other Vulcan children when he had been young, who had dismissed any of his quirks as a human failing. She had faced it as well, and far be it from her to begrudge her son this opportunity to make meaningful connections outside of his family.   
  
At the stage in which Spock began to shift from “the captain” or “captain Kirk” to simply  _ “Jim” _ , when she noticed the sparkle in her son’s eyes (and damn them, the other children had been right, his eyes  _ were _ human) whenever his superior officer was brought into conversation, she stopped doubting her motherly instinct.    
  
Her son had a thing for this Jim, and Amanda became desperate to meet the object of her son’s affection.    
  
From there, it became increasingly difficult to doubt her theory, even more so as time progressed and, she assumed, so did her son’s relationship.    


  
——    


  
Her time on the U.S.S.  _ Enterprise _ with a number of other diplomats provided Amanda with the chance to meet Captain James T. Kirk for the first time.    
  
It was quickly apparent that Spock talked about his superior officer with her more than he spoke about her with said superior officer. Nevertheless, the captain’s momentary shock was quickly pushed aside in favour of professionalism. She held her tongue when Sarek refused to take a tour of the  _ Enterprise _ guided by their son. She took the opportunity to observe the man she had heard so much about, in the hopes she would be able to talk to Spock at another time.   
  
She was amused by the Captain’s attempts to impress Sarek with his son’s work.    
  
She discovered that he was, indeed, an honourable man. He took his role seriously, he was incredibly intelligent, and he appeared to hold genuine affection for Spock.    
  
When the Captain became injured, Amanda noted deep concern hidden in Spock’s eyes. He disguised his worry with talk of his duty to the ship as acting captain, and yet she knew that his true reasoning was far more emotional.    
  
She regretted the unkindness she had shown him, but she was scared herself. She worried for Sarek, worried for Spock, worried for this man he had spoken so much about.    
  
She worried, most of all, for the depth of his feelings for this man; for the potential it had to hurt him.    
  
Later, when she spotted the two of them playing chess in the Sickbay, when she saw the smile on James’ face and heard the soft laughter, the easy conversation between them, she believed this to have been unfounded.     


  
——   


  
Amanda sat in her office, a mug of tea to her left, the screen in front of her holding her son’s contact. She requested the call, waited as she was redirected to the Enterprise’s First Officer’s quarters. When the image cleared, Amanda paused as she looked at the face of a human. She blinked. The man on the other end of the call blinked in response.   
  
“Lady Amanda,” he greeted, a charming grin spreading across his features.    
  
“Captain Kirk,” she nodded in response, offering a small smile of her own. She couldn’t wipe the confusion colouring her expression. “These  _ are _ Spock’s quarters, are they not?”    
  
“Yes, of course, sorry, you must be confused. I uhh— He’s in the labs, finishing off an experiment that’s taking longer than he anticipated.” Kirk lowered his gaze to the desk, chuckling. “Some of the younger ensigns working on it messed up a step. He’s trying to be patient, but you’d know what he’s like when things don’t go to plan.”    
  
Amanda sat back, taking in the expression on the captain’s face as he spoke of her son. She wondered if he knew he was being obvious, wondered if he realised he hadn’t explained why he was in the room in the first place.    
  
“I understand. Duty calls, and all that. May I ask why you were the one to answer this call?”    
  
She saw it, then; the brief flicker of realisation and panic as it clicked that he would need to find an answer to that. He hid it quickly, and Amanda idly wondered if that was a skill he had from captaincy or from proximity to a certain half-Vulcan.   
  
“I’d expected this to be a professional call, maybe something I could field for him while he’s not here, rather than disturb him in his work. I wasn’t aware you would be calling, or else I would’ve gotten him to reschedule or insisted he come back early, let the others run it.”   
  
She listened to him try and explain, nodding occasionally, waiting for the end of his speech so she could decide whether to call back later or wait for Spock’s return. She wondered once more whether he was purposely deflecting or whether he was simply unaware that he still had failed to give reason for his presence in his First’s quarters.    
  
His rambling drew to a close, and Amanda had the opportunity to speak again.    
  
“So would it be best for me to call back later?”   
  
“Spock should be back soon, if you’re willing to wait. If you’ve got something better to do than sit there then I’m sure he’d understand.”   
  
“My schedule’s clear,” she said, with a sweep of her hand. “Tell me about your ship, captain; what’s been going on?”   
  
She had lied, slightly. There were likely things she could be doing instead, but she was intrigued. She wished to know more about the captain, the man her son deemed so interesting. Sure, she had met him before, but that had been largely in a professional context. She was amused to find that her son made his way into the recounting of recent missions more than she would have expected.    
  
The captain cut himself off at the distinct  _ swish _ of an automatic door.   
  
“Spock! You’re back!”   
  
“Indeed, I have concluded the experiment. I apologise for keeping you waiting, asha—“    
  
Amanda felt a slight shock at what she knew to be a Vulcan endearment — at least, the start of one. She had suspected they felt something for each other, but it had not occurred to her that they may be already together. She fought back a laugh at the look Kirk had given to stop her son from completing the word; she wondered if they truly believed she had no idea what Spock been saying.   
  
“My apologies, have I interrupted you? To whom are you speaking?”    
  
The Vulcan walked into the frame of the picture just as Jim gestured to her.    
  
“Your mother,” he said.   
  
Spock blinked a little too hard.    
  
“Hi, sweetie.”   
  
“Hello, mother. I apologise for my delay, and for not informing you prior. I had failed to account for human collaborators as a variable in the duration of the experiment.”   
  
“Don’t worry about it. Captain Kirk had just been telling me about what’s been happening, recently. Your ship sounds quite... Interesting.”    
  
As Jim filled him in regarding what he had already covered, Spock took a seat. She noted, with continued amusement, that the two of them sat slightly too close.   


  
——   


  
Amanda was beyond pleased for the chance to spend a prolonged time with her son. The VSA had requested (reluctantly, apparently; they still were sore over her son leaving for Starfleet instead) Spock’s services for research they were conducting, which had resulted in him taking leave from the  _ Enterprise _ for a month. The crew was, apparently, not doing much interesting, meaning they could bear to lose their First for the sake of research.    
  
Despite this, Amanda noted with amusement, Spock was quite diligent with receiving updates from the ship’s captain each day.    
  
It happened to be during one of these ‘debriefs’ that Amanda had wished to talk with her son about something or other, which is why she found herself just inside his door, eavesdropping.    
  
Unintentionally.    
  
_ “You really aren’t missing much at the moment. It’s been basic diplomatic dinners, Bones complaining about the dress uniform, looking out into the black from the bridge— you know what it’s like.” _   
  
“I am pleased to hear you have not encountered any difficulties.”    
  
_ “Yet _ . _"_

“Jim.”   
  
Amanda saw Jim laughing on the screen, and settled against the wall, waiting for an appropriate time to interrupt. If she just so happened to be keeping out of the camera’s line of sight, no one would have known.   
  
_ “It’s ok, Spock. You know I’m always looking out for the crew, and for our ship.” _

“I am aware, yes. However, my concern is who is looking after _you_ in my absence.”    
  
_ “Hey, I can look after myself!” _

Her son’s back may have been to her, but she knew he was raising an eyebrow. Probably his “I could give you 47 examples of how you’re wrong without blinking” expression.   
  
_ “Ouch.” _ The captain laughed softly.  _ “Well, even if you don’t trust me, I’ve got Bones. I’m ok.” _

“I am aware of this, too. And yet, I cannot dismiss the urge to be with you.”   
  
_ “Yeah. The crew’s missing you, too.”  _ He paused. Amanda watched him hesitate.  _ “I’m missing you. Do you know how useless Bones is in a chess match? He’s a smart guy, don’t get me wrong, but he can’t play to save his life. Or maybe you’ve spoiled me for any other competition. Either way, first order of business when you get back to the ship: I want a decent opponent.” _

It was ridiculous, allowing herself to intrude like this. Spock was an adult, his personal life wasn’t her business. And yet, she couldn’t help the smile spreading across her face as she listened in. She was glad he had finally found somewhere to truly belong, from the sounds of it.    
  
“As you wish, Jim.”    
  
The captain smiled softly, and covered up a yawn. Spock’s head tilted to the side.   
  
“You require rest.”   
  
_ “I’m fine,” _ the human waved him off.    
  
“Jim, if I am correct, it is currently 2309 hours aboard the ship. It is necessary for you to sleep before your shift.”    
  
He sighed.  _ “You’re right, as always. It’s just quiet around here without you. How long until you get back, again?” _

“8.49 solar days, all proceeding as planned.”    
  
_ “Soon, then. Somewhat. It’s already been too long.” _

“I find I must agree. Just as you must sleep, Jim.”   
  
The man chucked again, although this time she could hear the tiredness in his voice. 

_ “Alright, alright. I’m going. 8.49 days, huh?” _

“Indeed.”   
  
He nodded. _ “Ok then. We can do that.” _ His eyes lifted.  _ “Talk again soon? You know when I come off shift.” _

Spock’s voice was soft, and Amanda had never been more grateful than she was then, to be able to hear the gentle emotion he so rarely allowed himself. “Of course.”    
  
_ “Sleep well, whenever you do.” _

“I wish you pleasant dreams.”   
  
She watched the captain hesitate once more, shifting on the screen, eyes downcast. He raised them after a moment.  _ “I love you.” _

Amanda felt her heart stop. She could hear the pure devotion in the tone; could remember being unaccustomed to the distance between herself and Sarek the first few times he had to leave her for his duties. She  _ knew _ what the captain must be feeling, and it threw her slightly.

Her son exhaled gently. “And I, you, t’hy’la.”   
  
_ “8.49 days?” _

“I will be forced to suddenly terminate this call if you do not retire to bed.”   
  
_ “Alright, alright, I’m going. I’ll call you tomorrow.” _

Spock nodded again as Jim waved and hung up. Amanda stepped back and waited a minute before knocking. She silently thanked the stars for Jim Kirk; for someone else who could love her son so deeply.   


  
——   


  
The night before Spock was due to return to the ship, their door chimed. Amanda had been upstairs when she’d heard it, and by the time she’d made it downstairs she could see that Spock had already opened the door to their guest.    
  
James Kirk stood just inside the door, smiling gently, eyes closed, her son’s hand cupping his cheek.    
  
“Jim...”   
  
“We got back early. We were meant to stay in orbit overnight and pick you up in the morning, but I got restless. We were so close, and I didn’t see the point in waiting for the morning when I could be here now.” He breathed deeply, eyes open now, fixed on Spock’s as Jim raised a hand to cover the one on his jaw. “I thought I’d surprise you. Did it work?”    
  
Amanda smiled at the sound of her son’s soft laugh. She turned to go back upstairs as Spock leant forward, decided the two deserved their privacy.    
  
She feigned surprise later when Spock approached her to tell her of his friend’s arrival. She welcomed him, offered tea and a place to sleep for the night, let Spock show him to a guest room she wasn’t sure would be used.    
  
Amanda watched the two of them together, saw the way they interacted; like two people who needed to be close and were trying too hard to make their interactions seem platonic.    
  
She saw the looks they gave, the gentle smiles, the brush of fingers when they thought they were being discreet. She outwardly ignored all of it, let them pretend they could be secretive, but she noticed it, and as a mother, she could not be more pleased for her child. After all, what does a loving parent want more than for their children to be happy?    


  
——   


  
It continued in that way for a long time; every time Spock visited Vulcan for shore leave, he would ask if Jim could come with him. The first few times he would give an excuse as to why he was inviting his superior officer, but it wasn’t long before the invitations were simply extended to Kirk as well.    
  


_ “I wanted to thank you for opening your house to me as a guest again, Lady Amanda,” _  the captain had said on one occasion   
  
_ “Nonsense, Jim, you’re practically part of the family by now.” _

  
For some reason, that had made him blush, and had caused Spock to look uncomfortable for a short while. She had her suspicions as to why.    
  
Her son had still not told her anything explicitly, but she’d been certain about what she’d seen between the two of them for a while.    
  
It became apparent that she wasn’t the only one.   


  
——   


  
“Amanda?”   
  
She looked up from her book to the face of her husband, responding with a hum. Sarek sat down next to her, angled towards her in an indication that he wished to discuss something.    
  
Her forehead wrinkled in concern, afraid he had bad news about his health. “Sarek, what’s the matter?”   
  
He pressed his lips together for a split second, a subtle tell of his apparent nerves. It did nothing to settle hers.    
  
“It is about our son,” he said at last, and the vagueness of that sentence did nothing to ease her worries. “I wish to know... Has he spoken with you regarding any,” he paused, searching for a word, “relations with Captain Kirk?”    
  
Amanda took a moment to realise that no, this was not a conversation on negative topics; her husband was uncomfortable talking about his son’s love life. Her worry quickly replaced itself with amusement.    
  
“No, he hasn’t.”   
  
Sarek raised an eyebrow. “Then they are not...?”    
  
“Now, I didn’t say  _ that _ . Spock hasn’t told me anything explicitly, but I’ve known for a while that there’s something going on between them.”    
  
The Vulcan nodded, contemplating. “You know of this how?”   
  
Amanda smiled at her husband. “We’ve taught that boy many things, but subtlety with his affections? Apparently not one of them.”   
  
She watched amusement flicker across Sarek’s face. “I am… Pleased for him. He deserves to find contentment.”    
  
Rising to her feet, Amanda offered her husband a Vulcan kiss. “I’m glad you think that.”   
  


——   


  
In the end, it had taken a number of years for the conversation to finally happen.    
  
Jim had been taking shore leave with their family again, as was now expected whenever they took leave on or near Vulcan.    
  
They’d waited until Sarek had departed to his office, until it was just the three of them in the room.   
  
“Mother,” Spock had begun, “there is something of import I wish to discuss with you.”    
  
Amanda sat back in her chair, gave the two men in front of her - the best command team in the ‘Fleet, she often heard - her full attention, and tried not to jump to conclusions as to where this was going.    
  
Her son hesitated, placed his hands on the table in front of him, eyes fixed on his fingers. He raised his head, expression controlled - ironically, one of the ways Amanda could tell he was nervous - and continued.    
  
“Jim and I wish to bond.”   
  
And that was it. The connection between the two, never mentioned, hidden away for  _ years _ , had finally been confirmed.    
  
“All evidence leads to the conclusion that we are  _ t’hy’la _ , and we wish to formalise our relationship.”   
  
“We’ve been considering this for a while now, Lady Amanda,” Jim added. He cast a glance at Spock. “I know we’ve never mentioned it, so it might come as somewhat of a shock—“ he stopped himself with a nervous chuckle.    
  
Amanda brought a gloved hand to her mouth to cover the twitch of her lips, attempting to pass it off as simply leaning on her palm.    
  
“It is not that we did not wish to tell you, mother, but this was a conversation I was not previously prepared to have with father. I know, due to your bond, you could not keep it from him, and so we chose to keep the information of our relationship private.”    
  
She covered a snort with the same hand that hid her smile. He raised an eyebrow at her.   
  
“I’m sorry, Spock, I really am. It’s just that... you really thought you were being subtle, didn’t you?”   
  
That earned her a blink of confusion.   
  
“Sweetie, I’ve known from the start. Well, thereabouts, anyway. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me yourself for years, now. I’ve made plans in the event you two want a human marriage, as well.”   
  
Spock looked utterly bewildered.   
  
“Father...” He paused, swallowed. “Does he—“   
  
“I didn’t tell him, if that’s what your asking. I’ve had years to learn how to shield.” Her son visibly relaxed, and she regretted having to continue. “ _ But— _ ”   


She watched her son tense.   
  
“He _has_ held his own suspicions.”   
  
Amanda watched her son sit in discomfort, and sighed.    
  
“He approves, Spock. He only wants the best for you. I think it’s just taken him a long time to figure out what that means.”   
  
“Then, we can hold the ceremony?”   
  
Amanda looked over at the human who held her son’s heart. He, unlike Spock, looked thoroughly amused, save for the flush across his cheeks.    
  
“Yes, James. It’s about time, too, if you ask me.”    
  
She watched Jim place his hands over Spock’s - an inappropriate gesture among Vulcans, but she was human and let it slide - and felt a great deal of pride in the two of them as she saw her son’s lips curve upwards.    
  
“Well then,” Jim said, breaking the silence, a grin across his face, “you mentioned wedding plans?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!! Hope you liked it :D 
> 
> Pester me on tumblr about Star Trek at any time: https://welcome-to-helliot.tumblr.com/


End file.
